Sigh , didn't went to work today was effing stress and i dont even have the mood to go out :'(
I simply broke down because of him again , i dontknow why i missed him so much:(
Hope sister and brother will be back soon , i dontwant to feel alone .

One message and you're gone . There's memories lies behind . Time heals everything , forget him and move on with your life . All those , i really cant .
He's the only one that makes me falls on so deeply , i dont know why but im always afraid for this day to come , it really did :(

IM SORRY ! :(

Sigh , i know you've given me alot of chances before , but i really dontknow what i do wrong . I know you've tolerate with my childish attitude for 5months , i didnt cherish i know . You forgive me again and again though i've hurt you alot . I really dontknow , that's why i never change . But you choose not to tell me , and bear all by yourself . Im sorry :( Naoxzc you're tired and im willing to change all i could because i love you deep inside :'( After you've leave me , i realised how important you really are in my heart . I will never forget you 21st , you will always be tattoo-ed in my heart forever and always . Dont even ask me to move on with my life , without you , i know i cant . I'll only be waiting for that day that really comes , i'll be able to hold your hands again and with my heart . Maybe we can't last forever , but at least i can still be with you once again and love you fullest :( People always dont treasure what they had after they lose it :( I know , and im one of them . I cant stop the tears from falling , there's really too much memories left behind . I will keep on waiting till that day , Time proves everything . It really hurts alot deep inside when i edited my blog link , baby , and titled it "FRIEND" . :((((((((( I hope we can be together again , i wont ask for more anymore ... What does it takes , to be with you forever :( Be happy that he's once yours, i cant . I want to be with him again , share my happiness and everything . I wont make you sad ever again , because i know whenever you're sad i wont be happy either . I didnt want you to smoke , not because i want to control you . As you've known , my reason , smoking kills , i didnt want you to leave me . I dontwant you to suffer . That's why im always mad when you've smoke too much, but i ws wrong . I shouldnt control you in the first place :( Everything you do , there's always me . But i only understand this when you're gone from my life . You can say eveything ended with a fullstop , but i'll never give up on you whenever there's still chance . There's only one reason in everything i do , because iloveyou :'( I want to be with you , and not making you sad again . I'll respect every decision you've made , but whatever i've said . Comes from my heart , seriously . Actions speaks louder than words , that's why im waiting . To show you how much i've loved you . Im sorry for everything i've done , and i'll will kick off that stupid attitude of mine . Because i know , i continue like this will make you sad . Im sorry , i didnt understand it in the past . Now i regretted , seriously . I've cried alot times because of you , i always thought because you doesnt care me . Im a failure to be your once-girlfriend i know . What ive said naoxzc , everything has past . But what never past , is my love for you . It had never changed how much i loved you and it will never change . I hope you will give me the last chance , just last and i'll cherish everything .
I meant my words , and i hope you trust me this last time ... I dontwant to bid goodbye to someone i really loved , because this feeling really is lost . Everything i do , cant make you out of my mind , not even a second . Even i dream , it's you again :( Dreams are better than reality . I dreamt that you're back with me again , but when i woke up . Tears rolled down again , i know this is just a dream already . But no matter what , if you truely loves me , you'll be back to me somehow . I must be strong , waiting for you . I'll try but whenever i missed you tears rolled down again . How am i going to stop this :( && I know , no matter what you do , i'll always lvove you , nobody else . Cos in my heart there's only you , you , and nobody else . I know i should have trusted you more when i have you :( WHY MUST IT I LOSE LIAO THEN I KNOW ???!????!!!! :( Memories of us being together keep appear in my mind again and again . I really miss you :( ALOTATLOATALOTALOTATLOT ! I really dontknow you will forgive me and give it a try again or what , i hope so :( Sigh , IMISSYOU ... I know i wrote a v long post , im really very regret what ive done sialllllllllll . i know you never scold me vulgarities before but i cant control myself that i sclded you thtime . I feel very sorry .. Hais , what shall i do naoxzcxzc . I really dontknow , this is driving me mad alrready . Imiss you terribly
:((((((((((
If i were to list everything i've done to make you sad , i think my hands will be tired off typing .
When you're still with me , why i dontknow how to think that's its my wrong .
You everytime give in to me say that you're wrong , i took it for granted . I know whatever ive done , its always you who apologised to me . Now its my turn , not that i give in to you , but its really my fault then :( IM SORRY :( I really cant live without you :( My mind is just full of you , us , and every moment when you're with me . I SHOULD HAVE CHERISH . ITS ALL TOO LATE , IT ONLY DEPENDS ON YOURSELF TO FORGIVE ME ANOT . I KNOW EVEN IF YOU DONT , I'LL UNDERSTAND . BUT I WILL PROVE TO YOUI'VE CHANGED . I'LL CARE EVERYONE AROUND ME BEFORE I REGRET LIKE HOW I AM NOW . IM SERIOUSLY HOPE WE CAN BE BACK . I SAID AGAIN AND AGAIN BECAUSE MY HEART ONLY CONTAIN THIS PHRASE . HAIS . I know that lastime i broke up w my previous stead, i never cared anything . wanting to patch or what , but for you , i dontknow why but i really wished for this to come true . i think u really treat me too good , thats why . if i were to say how much i felt sorry inside my heart , its beyond words . SORRYSORRYSORRY :( Even if you say its alright , im still sorry :( I everytime walked off by myself , and i know you would come . But naoxz i finally realised , this really hurts you alot :( Im sorry , i will change myself to a better person naoxz :(

The hardest thing i've imagine , is to watch someone i loved love someone

I cant forget everything you've does :( You know i wont forget you :(
First time when i stead w you , th next morning you brought lemon tea and breakfast for me and sent me to school . as it was raining , you brought umbrella and walked me to school . you was afraid i was cold , and asked me whether i wanted your hoodie . i never even dared to talk to you . After school , we went boonlay with tinghan , brother and sister . I dont even dared to hold your hands , when you insisted . with your smiles , and we just hold merely for a while and bidbyes . you would messaged me , everyday and when im in school . i'll sure recieve a message from you . You got s session and you need to go for training , i didn understand and i blame you for it . you apologised . everything when im in the wrong , its you who apologised . you brought me to hke and slacked , old placed . you wanted me to call you baby in the phone , but i couldnt it really takes me a long time and i just simply said , 'baby' . you say huh , i didnt want to repeat again . you was laughing and said that im cute . i skipped cca when our first month , i ran out of the school and i cant wait to meet you . you came w a bouquet of flowers , i went back home and put it . lol . i gave you the cake , and you ate it in the bus . i saw you eating w your smile and i was really very happy . . and watched movie . you laminated the tickets and you thought i was laughing at you , but i wasn't .. You wanted me to disown my gan , but i quarreled w you again and again without thinking how you felt . i take such a long time in everything i do . i finally understood and i break gan w him because i doesnt want you to sad . .. Second month , we went sentosa with brother , wuqun , leting and sist , though its our anniversary i called them along . you gave me a giant pooh bear and waited at my house downstair wanting to give me a surprise . you failed , and youre sad i know . but im still happy about your effort ... . and i gave a wallet to you , im wondering if you're still using now :( You said i was your only stead who gave you wallet . and with your smile , i know you liked it . Third month , you knew i like sakae sushi and you brought me there to eat . you didnt tell me in th first place , you wanted to give me a suprise . before 3month , you gave me a couple mug , and a winnie the pooh bottle full of hearts . you know i was angry w you , you didnt fetch me from school thatday . but to my suprise , brother passed me that and i nearly broke down into tears . i didnt tell you too . you was afraid this was the last present you gonna give me , and i was really touched by your words . from this day .. i really love you w all my heart . before that i really treat you not good but you still tolerated . i want to be in your embrace forver :( And still , im not perfect . you wanted me to hold your hands and we quarrelled because of this dontknow what stuffs . i know it sounds stupid , and i've changed .. forth month , you skip your meals saved your money and you brought me a winnie the pooh handphone when we saw it at simlim square you know i was keep looking at it . i quarreled w you again , and you passed me and you walked off . i opened it , and seriously i broke down into tears . i know i shouldnt have scolded you for wronging you . i lost my wallet at bugis , you was worried i wasn;t and i think that you're v cute when you looked like this . you asked me to be serious more abit :( i was only sad because that wallet is you buy for me de , and our firstmonth tickets and our second month sentosa pass is also inthere . :( but still i cant find my wallet . we went down base , and i quarreled w you again . i broke down into tears because i wanted to treat you best but i just dontknow what you want :( You wipe my tears and asked me not to blame myself , but still i blamed myself again ... I wasnt a good stead after all . we quarrelled again and again , you asked me what happen what i want you to do . i ignored you and dont even bother to look at you :( fifth month , we never celebrate i dontknow why ;( I log in msn and saw you online . i cant even talk to you , you said you want to be alone . but im glad that you sent me happy fifth month , its really unexpected . sighh ... i miss your smiles , how i slept on your lap . how you hug me when i got betaryed by my bestest friend and you wipe my tears for me . im really is being oversenitive for thinking you hong girls . now i know you didnt :( i really think too much everytime . and still i cant control , because im just too afraid you might leave me . maybe you will find a better stead than me , :( But i wont find a stead , till i completely get over you . i dontknow how long it will takes . but still , you ask me to wait till i forget you . there's alot of things im still missing about you . thanks for those memories . i'll wait for you till you really be back but maybe its impossible anymore :( There's nothing i can do , just to love you in silent . i cant talk to you in a stead manner , im just your friend now :( Sigh ..